Da' Kool Aid Man Meets Phyllis
Once upon a time, Da' Kool-aid man was walking along and met Phyllis.
Da' Kool-aid Man Talks to Phyllis
Phyllis said, "You wanna be my friend?" said Phyllis.
"Oh yeaahh!" Da' Kool-aid Man said profoundly.
Da' Kool-aid Man and Phyllis Eat a Cookie
One day, the Kool-aid man and Phyllis went out for a walk and found four chocolate chip cookies on da' ground. Phyllis bursted out with excitement, "WHAT LUCK!" So they split each cookie into two smaller halves so they had seven and four fourths cookies. But Phyllis didn't want to share so she gave them all to the Kool-aid Man.
Da' Kool-aid Man Mugs a Ho Bo
One day Phyllis went to see his grandmother in Seattle. His grandmother bought her a comfortable sweater because it is a bit chilly up in Seattle.
Da' Kool-aid Man and Phyllis Go On a Hike
One day the Kool-aid Man and Phyllis went on a hike. Then the Kool-aid Man seened a flying pakiderm(elephant). Then it flew away. "Holy poop, Batman!" the Kool-aid Man retorted.
Da' Kool-aid Man and Phyllis talk to da' flying pakiderm
"Yo!!!" Shouted the kool-aid man. After many minutes of awkward silence the pakiderm,who the kool-aid man named Bernard, blurted out, "KARP!!!" Then he fired a rainbow colored beam that hit Phyllis directly "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed Phyllis as loud as a flock of dustbunnies at the New York Stock Exchange.
Da' Kool-aid man Befriends the Bernard Creature
When we left off Phyllis and da' Kool-aid man encountered a flying pakiderm named Bernard. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" said Phyllis calmly. But strangely nothing happened. She's funny, I'm funny, we both laugh. "Karp-a-karp, karp-a-karp park," Bernard explained. "Oooohhhh," Da' Kool-aid man and Phyllis both said. "That's really sad," said Phyllis wiping his eye with a tissue that it got from her pocket.
Kool-aid Man, Phyllis, and the Bernard Creature go Christmas Shopping
One day, the trionopolis went to the pen shop to get a turkey. But they ran out of turkies so they got a wicker chair to burn at their annual Independence Day bonfire. Then they went to the wicker chair shop to get that long lost turkey. It was the best Christmas yet when they got stuffed and opened presents. They kept the turkey and named it Francis. Da Kool-aid Man got some Juicy-Juice, Phyllis got a dress and a muscle shirt (which it really liked), and the Bernard Creature got a furry pink elephant toy. "KARP!" SAID BERNARD, THE PAKIDERM!!
Phyllis Finds a Magical Hat
One day, Phyllis was traveling through the forest of New York City and found a tophat lying on the ground. The ground was covered with snow so she decided that it would be entertaining to build himself a snowman. So it built one. It was a nice one and she also found two pieces of coal, a carrot, and a button in her pocket for some reason. So she used the carrot as an eyebrow, the button as one eye and the two pieces of coal as a mouth. Then she looked at his fine snow sculpture and put the tophat on. But it blew off. She went and fetched but the hat kept walking off his head with no legs. So she quit and went home.
Da' Kool-aid Man Has A Birthday Party
One day da' Kool-aid man had a birthday! So what is a birthday without a birthday party? So he invited all of his friends. Phyllis, Bernard the flying packiderm, Chuck Norris, Bill Clinton, Darth Vader, Mo the purple Telletubbie, and Madonna. It was all fun and games until Chuck Norris accidentally vaporized Mo the purple Telletubbie into oblivion. But they all soon forgot about it and started having fun again. Then it was present time! Da' Kool-aid man got a Barbie/G.I. Joe doll thing from Phyllis, a big bag of peanuts from Bernard the flying packiderm, half of the universe from Chuck (which had a pretty little pink bow on the top!), a book about Bill Clinton's life from Bill Clinton, a lightsaver from Darthy, Mo's surgically removed T.V. stomach from Mo, and a wombat from Madonna. It was the best birthday ever!
Phyllis Rolls on the Ground
Phyllis rolled on the ground. Simple as that.
Phyllis and Da' Kool-aid Man Have A Conflict
One day, Da' Kool-aid Man and Phyllis had a conflict. There was one cooked cabbage left and Phyllis wanted it. But Da' Kool-aid Man didn't. So they fought and fought over this cooked cabbage that was cooked by Bernard the Flying Packiderm. It wasn't even that good. I tried it. I mean I've had better cooked cabbages. But anyway, they entered the combat arena ready to fight to the minor injury. So Phyllis got out his bean-bag chair that it keeps in her room. And Da' Kool-aid Man got his three rubber chickens. They engaged in combat. To be continued.............................................................................okay. They engaged in combat. Da' Kool-aid Man threw a rubber chicken and it exploded and Phyllis went to the hospital and Da' Kool-aid Man won and threw the cooked cabbage at a passing garbage man. "Oh yeah!"
The Big Race
Da' Kool-aid Man Tries Out for the Yankees
One day Da' Kool-aid Man woke up and tried out for the New York Yankees. He struck out 17 times in a row and missed a fly ball which hit him in the face. But he made it on the team so the next time you watch the Yankees watch for Da' Kool-aid Man!
Phyllis Finds Another of His Kind
Phyllis was walking uder the boardwalk down by the sea, just walking with my baby when she came across a person sitting in the ocean with the waves violently slapping his face. Phyllis didn't know why the person would let the waves hit them in the face like that. It looked like it hurt. He was just sitting there. What the crap? So Phyllis went up to the person and said, "Got any grapes?"
And then Phyllis looked closer at the person and the person's gender was also a mystery also! I don't really know what happened then. This mini-story has a horrible plot. It has no falling action or resolution. I apologize to the general public.
Yeah, Icefire really hates how the font changes in this web host so Icefire will talk in third person. Icefire was watching the Yankees stink yet again this season but Da' Kool-aid Man wasn't playing. Or he wasn't being on the team on at all. So Icefire has given mis-information on the Yankees and Da' Kool-aid Man. So yet again Icefire will apoligize to the general public.
A Really Bad Thing
So, when Phyllis saw this similar mystery gender person and saw this strange behavior he asked it,"Miss, do you have anywhere to go to?"
He replied, "No. both of my parents were killed in a car crash when I was ten. My horrible aunt was left with me to take care of. She hated me for being an outcast. When she had her rich friends over for tea she would send me up to my room and leave me there with a sandwich and Mr. Thomas, her cat, to play with. I cried every night until I fell over in exhaustion and slept. No one liked me at school, no one treated me well. But after school I would go up to my room and play with Mr. Thomas. He helped me with my algebra homework and I fed him bits of crackers and we would be best friends until the end. If Mr. Thomas wasn't there I don't know how I would have kept my sanity. And then Mr. Thomas and I were playing in the kitchen on a warm summer day and the door was hanging wide open. Mr. Thomas saw a butterfly come inside and then come out like it was calling him outside. The butterfly went out into the street and Mr. Thomas followed. The butterfly floated upwards toward the sky and I saw the car coming and I screamed for Mr. Thomas to move but he didn't and the car...." he started sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh my gosh," said Phyllis.
It continued," He lived and suffered for three days after that and I prayed not to let him go. Maybe it was selfish. But he was the only thing in the world that I had and I would sit up every night, staring at the sky blue wall that is scarier than any other color in the dark. I made a pact with myself that I would never get attatched to anything else as long as I lived. Then one day one of my aunt's friend asked if she wanted to go with her to the beach. She also said that I could go to too. I have was at the beach once when I was one years old with my parents. I didn't remember anything of that trip because I was of course one year old. I didn't really care about anything so I didn't want to go on this trip but my aunt, no matter how much she despised me, couldn't leave me here all alone. It was illegal. When we got to our room, my aunt and friend dragged me along to the shore. When I looked at it I saw nothing but beauty.I knew this is where I wanted to spend the rest of my life. When we went back I was sad and dreamed of the ocean every night. The gentle waves and shining sun glittering across the water gave me hope. I lived every day to reach the goal of living down by the beach. I graduated high school and got a decent job as being cook of a local resturaunt that hauled in pretty good business on a weekend. Nothing coould have taken the place of Mr. Thomas but this natural beauty makes a real good effort. I like it when the waves hit up against my face. When the ocean gave me the hope that it did I was better to be around. I was more cheerful and made new friends. My aunt still hated me but I think that the ocean had saved my life."
He stood up. "Well I'm not sure why I told that to a total stranger but boy did it ever feel good telling that to you. I hope we meet again friend."
He walked away and left Phyllis there staring at him in wonder and amazement.
Da Kool-Aid Man Goes Hunting
One day, Da Kool-aid Man went hunting. For sugar. If you were a pitcher of artificially flavored drink, what would you hunt? Anywho, he went right into the grocery store and shot all the sugar with a bow and arrows. He actually made quite a mess and got kicked out